Cut to commercial.
 

"Winning."

Backstage somewhere... there is a television. Seated on the floor in front of that television is Nirvana 2.0. Standing next to him is his uncle, The Gust. The Gust kneels down and puts his hand on Nirv's shoulder.

The Gust: Do you see what those four were willing to do for an opportunity at a championship? That's what you need to do later tonight.

Nirv 2.0: I will do that.

The Gust: Will you? Are you sure about that?

Nirv 2.0: I... I...

The Gust: Don't second guess yourself. Don't second guess anything. Ever. Go with your first instint, Alexander. Even if that first instinct is to put yourself in danger. If necessary, use yourself as a weapon.

Nirv 2.0: I can do that.

The Gust: Can you? Are you sure you're willing to punish your body in order to punish your opponent's? Are you willing to turn yourself into a human torch if it means they will suffer ten-fold?

Nirv 2.0: I must do that.

The Gust: Good boy. Now go. I want you to punch that brick wall until your knuckles bleed. Then, I want you to clean up the blood and make me a sandwich.

Nirvana 2.0 gets off of the floor and leaves the shot, then we hear his fists hitting a brick wall. As The Gust stands up, he finds himself face-to-face with Sara Pettis, the mother of his child. She doesn't say a word, just shakes her head.

The Gust: Got a problem, woman?

Sara: No, I don't... but you do. You're sick, Nate... and you need help. You need to go back to--

The Gust: To the funny farm? So they can poke and prod at me eighteen hours a day? No fuckin' thanks.

Sara: Please. Just go see Dr. Shebazz. If not for yourself, do it for Steph.

Gust grabs Sara by the throat and holds her up against the wall behind the television.

The Gust: Listen, bitch. Everything I do... I do for her.

Nirvana 2.0 stops punching the wall and runs over, resting his forehead on Sara's shoulder.

Nirv 2.0: Sensei, do you want me to eat her baby?

Gust releases Sara and grabs Nirv by the throat, lifting him off the ground and making him gasp for air.

Sara: Stop! Nate, stop! He doesn't know better!

Sara pulls on Gust's arm until he releases Nirv, who drops to the ground holding his throat. Sara pushes Gust out of the way and walks toward the doorway. Gust smiles and turns his head toward her...

The Gust: Good luck in your match... darling...

Scene fades.

Scooter: The following contest is the first ever Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet! All five teams will surround the ring. Two teams will be selected at random. Those two teams will battle until one is eliminated. Then another team enters. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Slow Chemical's "Out of the Fire" starts to play and everybody is confused. Moments later... Johnny Legend and Andrew Barnes walk out from the backstage area. Legend is flipping everybody off while Barnes bounces around like a retard. The two start walking down the ramp...

Moments later, Sara Pettis and Schizophrenia come out from backstage... with the song still playing. The fans cheer for the two women, mostly for Sara because people are still a bit scared of Schizo. Apparently this is the theme of the entire match...

With Sara and Schizo halfway down the ramp, Nick Kincaid and Mack Davidson come out from the back to a great ovation.

With Nick and Mack halfway down the ramp, Arsan Ayers and Matthew Abbot come out from backstage to a solid reaction from the fans.

With Arsan and Matthew halfway down the ramp, Aidan Morag and Sean Starr come out from backstage to solid contempt from the fans.

Now, with all five teams surrounding the ring, Scooter leaves the ring and Junior Referee Stinky Nuttsach enters.

Brick: This is going to be an interesting match. None of the teams have any idea who is entering at what time.

Nick: Come on, Scooter. The suspense is killing me!

Scooter holds up an index card that lists the order in which the teams will enter.

Scooter: The first team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Team LEGEND!

Legend and Barnes high five, then enter the ring. Legend puts up his fists, looking in the direction of each individual team.

Scooter: The second team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Power Trip!

Morag and Starr can't believe it. The two talk to each other for a moment, then Morag walks over to Scooter and whispers something into his ear.

Scooter: I have just been informed that Power Trip can not enter the match yet because... Sean Starr has a hang nail...

Serenity: That's ridiculous.

Brick: That's genius!

Nick: Indeed!

Serenity: Quit kissing ass, you two.

Scooter: The second team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Saraphrenia!

Sara and Schizo climb onto the apron. Sara tells Schizo to hold onto the tag rope and not move, then enters the ring. Barnes climbs onto the ring apron, allowing Legend to start the match. With both teams ready, the opening bell sounds. Legend and Pettis meet in the center of the ring. Legend talks a bunch of trash to her, motioning that he's big and she's small. You know, the usual garble from Legend. He motions that he can beat her with one hand behind his back, so he applies puts his left arm behind him in a hammerlock, then flips Pettis off with his right hand. This sets Sara off and she slaps him across the face, then goes behind him and wrenches the hammerlock. Legend yells to Barnes for help, but the referee stops him from entering. Sara controls Legend with the hammerlock and shoves him into her corner, then lands a quick clothesline. As she does so, Schizo makes a blind tag. Sara follows the clothesline up with a bulldog out of the corner. Schizo hit the ropes and lands a leg drop on Legend. When she stands up, she and Sara shake hands and hit a tandem elbow drop on Legend. The fans go nuts for the only female duumvirate in the gauntlet. Stinky Nuttsach orders Sara to get out of the ring and she does, just as Schizo goes for a pin. The attempt only gets a one count. Legend is quick to throw his shoulder up. Schizo gets to her feet and creepily stalks Legend until he gets to his feet. Then her mood changes. When Legend turns around, he goes to strike... but she gives him puppy dog eyes and he stops, confused. He looks to Barnes, who shrugs his shoulders. As soon as he turns back to Schizo, his mood changes again and she connects with an enziguri. Legend gets back to his feet and is met with a kick to the midsection. Schizo goes for a quick dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane, but Legend overpowers her and pushes her into his corner, holding her long enough until Barnes can tag himself in and enter the ring. Once in, Barnes takes a couple shots until Legend releases Schizo and leaves the ring. Barnes lays in a few quick jabs before hitting a snap suplex on the much smaller competitor. She gets up and ducks a clothesline from Barnes, then connects with a nice desperation drop-kick. She crawls toward her corner as Barnes gets back to his feet. He stomps on her back and grabs her by the waist, hoisting her up and over with an impressive German Suplex. The fans are booing Barnes, as are MACKAID and Normality at ringside... but he doesn't care. Barnes ascends the turnbuckle... Legend tags himself in. Barnes dives off with a flying elbow drop he calls "A Cut Above" and... Schizo moves out of the way! Barnes crashes hard on the mat! Legend rushes into the ring and is met by a springboard shining wizard from Sara Pettis that she calls "Fate Sealed." The fans go wild as Sara goes to cover Legend, but Nuttsach reminds her that she's not the legal competitor. Sara pulls Schizo on top of Legend and moves out of the way. Nuttsach makes the three count and the bell sounds.

Scooter: Team LEGEND has been eliminated!

The fans go wild and Scooter raises his microphone again.

Scooter: The third team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... He pauses.

Scooter: Power Trip!

Once again, Morag walks over and whispers something into Scooter's ear. Scooter nods his head.

Scooter: Power Trip are unable to enter the gauntlet at this time because... Sean Starr had to... drop a deuce...

Serenity: Malarkey!

Scooter: The third team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Normality!

Arsan and Matthew get into the ring, then roll Legend and Barnes out. They wait as Sara helps Schizo up. The four meet in the center of the ring and shake hands. Schizo is still the legal competitor and she is going to start out the second phase of this gauntlet with Matthew Abbot, a newcomer to Fight Union. The two shake hands again, but this time... Schizo reverts to her more physical personality and she pulls Matthew over her shoulders with a fireman's carry, holding onto his left arm with an armbar. She wrenches the arm, twisting and turning him until he is at a standing position. Holding onto the arm, she backs to her corner and tags in Sara. Sara enters the ring and takes Matthew's arm, going under with an arm ringer. Matthew walks out to the middle of the ring and rolls thru, kips up, and reverses the arm ringer with one of his own. He turns the arm ringer into a hammerlock, then floats over into a head lock. Sara holds her hands up in his face, trying to get him to let go, but she fails. She backs him up to the ropes and pushes off, but he doesn't release the headlock. After a few moments of struggle... Sara does some fancy footwork that distracts Matthew enough for Sara to slip out of the headlock and float over into a headlock of her own. The fans clap, as do Schizo and -- surprisingly -- Arsan. Matthew puts his hands in Sara's face, trying to release himself from the headlock, but fails. He then tries the fancy footwork, but she sees it coming and brings him over with a side headlock takedown. Matthew is in the right position to reach the bottom rope with his foot. Referee Nuttsach sees this and orders Sara to release the hold. She lets go and gets to her feet. Matthew soon follows and is met with a hip toss from Sara. Back to his feet again and he takes an arm drag from Sara. Back to his feet again and takes a bodyslam from Sara. The fans, Schizo, and Arsan all clap... as do MACKAID on the outside of the ring. Sara and Matthew get back to their feet and Sara starts a slow clap. Everybody gets into it, even Matthew. The two go to the center to lock up, but Matthew ducks and pushes Sara into the ropes. As she comes back, Matthew gives her a nice hip toss. She gets up and takes an arm drag. She gets up again and takes a bodyslam. They are now even, but Sara seems to have hurt her back on that bodyslam... and she backs up to her corner and tags Schizo in. Matthew shrugs and tags in Arsan. Schizo charges at Arsan, who side steps out of the way. Schizo hits the ropes and comes back. Arsan goes for a side slam, Schizo counters with a headscissors takedown. Arsan gets to his feet and is met with a three quarter turn neckbreaker that Schizo calls "Mood Swings." She goes for a pin and gets a two count before Matthew dives in and makes the save. Schizo just about has a nervous breakdown until Sara calls for her to tag in. Schizo tags in Sara as Arsan tags in Matthew. Sara hits Matthew with a flying clothesline, followed by a flowing back elbow. Matthew gets up a second time and Sara catches him with a scoop slam piledriver that she calls "Ice Pick Piledriver." She covers Matthew and Referee Nuttsach goes down to count the one, two, three. The bell sounds.

Scooter: Normality has been eliminated!

There is a mixed reaction to this as people were into Normality, but they are happy because Saraphrenia is still in this.

Serenity: It looks like these chicks are taking the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet by storm.

Brick: Just wait until Power Trip gets in there. Then they're really in trouble.

Serenity: Oh yeah? When exactly are they going to get in there? Huh?

Nick: When they're ready!

Scooter: The fourth team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Power Trip!

This time, Starr walks over and whispers something into Scooter's ear. He sighs, nods his head, and raises the microphone.

Scooter: Power Trip are unable to enter the gauntlet at this time because... Aidan Morag has an important business call...

The camera pans over to Morag on his cell phone. He smiles, gives a thumbs up to Starr, and goes back to his conversation.

Scooter: The fourth team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Team MACKAID!

The fans go wild as Mack and Nick enter the ring... Mack over the top rope and Nick under the bottom rope. The most dynamic duumvirate in the match pose for the fans, then do rock-paper-scissors to see who will start out. Kincaid ends up being the one to start for their team. He and Sara -- still favoring her back -- start circling each other. They lock up in the center of the ring and Kincaid pushes her back to the corner, not by either of their partners. Nuttsach orders him to let go of her and he does. He takes a few steps back, then charges at her. She lifts herself up using the ropes and lands on his back, flipping him over with a sunset flip powerbomb. Nuttsach goes down to count the pin, but it only gets a one count before Kincaid kicks out. Sara gets to her feet and Kincaid sweeps her feet, covering her for a one count. Both get to their feet and Sara goes for a high kick, Kincaid ducks. Kincaid goes for a low kick, Sara jumps. Sara goes for a spinning heel kick, Kincaid ducks. Kincaid goes for a roaring clothesline, Sara ducks. The two stop dead in their tracks and have an epic stand off. The crowd goes wild. From both sides of their ring, their perspective partners are begging to get into the action. Nick and Sara both look out to the fans, looking for their approval. The fans start dueling "SCHIZO" and "MACK" chants. Nick and Sara tag in their perspective partners, who enter the ring at very different paces. Schizo gets right up in Mack's face -- well, more than a foot shorter -- and she shouts things at him, then lifts her right hand and wiggles her fingers. Apparently she wants to do a test of strength, which Mack laughs at... but grabs her right hand with his left. He then lifts his right hand and wiggles his fingers, holding it too high for her to reach. He laughs and this sets her into bitch mode. She stomps on his foot so he bends over... and she headbutts him right in the face! With control of his one arm, Schizo walks up the nearest corner and goes for a double springboard armdrag... but once she goes down for the armdrag, Mack pulls her back up to her feet and pulls her into a monstrous clothesline! Half of the fans boo this because it's a big man picking on a little woman, but things calm down once they see the sorrow on Mack's face. He kneels down to check on her and she kicks him square in the freaking head! Yeah, the side of his head that was bleeding a few weeks ago. He screams and goes to make his way to his corner slowly... as Schizo tags in Sara. Sara is quick to ascend the turnbuckle and she dives off with a moonsault into a double foot stomp that she calls "Moonstomp." Mack rolls a few feet over to his corner and reaches his long arm up to tag in Nick Kincaid, who rushes into the ring and charges at Sara. She ducks a clothesline from him and springboards off of the middle rope for a back elbow, only to get caught in the back of the head my a superkick!

Serenity: SHOCKWAVE!

Nick covers Sara and Referee Nuttsach drops down to make the one, two, three! Another mixed reaction because the fans were really into Saraphrenia throughout this match, but they get over it because MACKAID is on fire. After a brief moment of celebrating, Nick and Mack help get Schizo and Sara out of the ring. As Sara looks at the ring with a dazed look on her face, Nick smiles and mouths out "call me" to her. She smiles and shakes her head, turning around and staggering up the ramp with Schizo holding onto her. Outside of the ring, Scooter looks over at Morag and Starr. They are in a huddle, constantly looking over each other's shoulder. Once they are done, they look over at Scooter and nod.

Scooter: The fifth and final team to enter the Duumvirate Cup Gauntlet is... Power Trip!

The fans boo viciously as Aidan and Sean walk up the steps and onto the ring apron. Sean is pegged in the back of the head with a plastic beer bottle, forcing him to roll over the middle rope and into the ring. Aidan picks up the bottle and throws it back, yelling obscenities at the crowd. Aidan and Sean walk to the center of the ring, then Aidan holds up a microphone as MACKAID approaches.

Aidan: Listen, boys. I have an impressive victory over Shane Clemmens later tonight to worry about. How about you boys lay down and let Sean and I walk out of here with our well-deserved Duumvirate Cup?

The fans boo the idea. Mack and Nick look at each other, then back to Aidan and Sean. Mack grabs the mic from Aidan. He holds it up to his mouth, then bites it and throws the rest. Mack and Nick start firing shots at Aidan and Sean. They back both men to the ropes, firing a few more shots... before whipping them across the ring. Mack gives Aidan a huge back body drop and Nick gives Sean a not-so-huge back body drop, being that he's much smaller than Mack. The fans go wild and Nuttsach tries to maintain order... but it doesn't really work. Nick and Mack pull their opponents to a standing position, both are cut off by Sean and Aidan. Sean and Aidan hit the ropes and charge at their adversaries. Aidan tries to shoulderblock Mack, but ends up landing flat on his back. Sean manages to clothesline Nick, only to turn into a shoulderblock from Mack. Mack yells and beats his chest like King Kong, then starts pounding on the left side of his chest with his right fist. Aidan is the first to stir, followed by Sean... as Nick rolls over to his corner to catch his breath. Mack swings and goes for his finishing maneuver "The Heart Punch," but Aidan moves out of the way and pulls Sean right into it. Sean goes down hard and Aidan bails out of the ring. Nick -- who was the last known legal man -- jumps in and covers Sean. Nuttsach drops down and counts the one, two, three! The bell sounds and "Hold It Against Me" by Ben Salhany ft. Adonai starts to play.

Scooter: The winners of this bout and first ever holders of the Fight Union Duumvirate Cup... "The Dynamic Duumvirate" TEAM MACKAID!

Mack picks Nick up with one arm and hoists him over his shoulder, both men celebrating their huge victory. Aidan slides into the ring halfway and pulls Sean out. The camera gets up close to them for a moment...

Sean: What the shit was that, Aid?

Aidan: I had to save myself for later. This isn't my fault. This is their fault...

Morag points to MACKAID, who are now holding up the Duumvirate Cup and basking in the crowd's affection as the scene fades.

Cut to Commercial...

Scooter: Now hurry on up and get into your seats now folks....they say that anger waits for no man, and it is certainly not going to wait on us now, as two particularly ferocious competitors meet up in our next match. It's Shane Clemmens and Aidan Morag, and they've got a grudge...

Brick: Grudge? Where? That movie gave me the willies...

Nick: No, grudge, like they've both got to knock each others blocks off because ...

Serenity: Someone has been poisoning the proverbial PR waterhole in FU, and I have a feeling that Shane is going to use this opportunity to make his sentiments on the issue known.

Sure enough, Shane swings into the ring, his face completely stoic despite the eruption of cheers and mad adoration of the fans. He paces around and throws out waves and salutes to the fans as he waits on Aidan, but it is plain to see he's got a heavy score on his mind.

Aidan is up in the ring before Shane sees him, and walks up to him, tapping him on the shoulder to grab his attention, and Shane spins around to face him. The two square off, and are clearly in the middle of a heated discussion before Sean Starr, the guest referee for the evening arrives. Sean steps in between the two just as Shane's about to throw a fist, and pushes the two apart, jostling them both to the center of the ring.

Serenity: Both of these guys are clearly ready to go here, hopefully Sean can get free and clear before Shane takes him out with one of those massive meat hooks.

Sean holds both fighters apart and shouts them through the conduct spiel, and drops wrists in a flash to let them go. Shane is on Aidan before Aidan can even blink, pushing him back with fist after fist into the ropes. Aidan struggles to keep on his feet as Shane's momentum shoves him back in a stumble.

Nick: Look at that guy go! He's like a steam engine!

Brick: Next stop, Aidan's Momma's house...

Aidan manages to regain some balance and fires off a few punches in reply to Shane's assault, but Shane ducks the hits and gets Aidan into a head lock, and drops him right into a waiting knee! Aidan's face turns red, and he is clearly in a lot of pain as Shane lets him go and he slumps into the mats shaking his head.

Serenity: That rattled him, man what a brutal move so early on here. Shane's pissed... Kind of makes you wonder what Aidan did this time that's got him so mad...

Brick: They do get pretty angry at each other sometimes. I don't like it when they fight-- makes me want to go to my special place and listen to Blondie...she's so happy.

Nick: What? TMI dude, TMI...

Serenity: Nick, do you even know what TMI means?

Nick: Tickle Me Innocently

Brick: I'm not allowed to tickle people any more. Sorry buddy.

Aidan is just about to get to his feet, having regained some color and focus, when Shane drops a heavy boot into his ribs, followed by a second one. Aidan can be seen yelling something furiously at Sean Starr as he curls up in pain. Sean Starr stares at Shane and advances on him from across Aidan's hurting shape.

Serenity: I wonder if Shane's going to get a warning for that one-- that was pretty brutal.

Brick: No, it says in the manual that that's allowed...

Nick: You read the manual? For what?

Brick: Gosh Nick-- don't you take your responsibilities here seriously? How did you get past the interview?

As Sean Starr gets right into Shane's face, he yells something that the commentator's stand can't make out and points to the side of the ring. Shane's gaze follows Sean's arm, and there, standing ringside clapping happily, is Harvey Lohmann. Upon meeting Shane's gaze, Harvey stops clapping and gives him a little wave. Shane stares him down menacingly.

Serenity: I don't know what Sean was saying, but that don't look good. And where the fuck did Harvey come from? Did either of you notice him climb on up there?

Suddenly, Sean Starr reaches back pounds Shane in the face with a well-aimed fist.

Brick: WHOA...that is definitely not in the manual!! Oh wait, this is a VCR manual...

Nick: Oh my god, this is getting really confusing. Harvey Lohmann, VCR manuals? Punching? What?

Scooter: Well shit son-- it looks like this fight just took a completely different direction folks-- so much for our officiator, this thing is officially fucking ugly...This match has been ruled a NO CONTEST! And hey, someone call security, get that Harvey guy out of there-- someone could get hurt here tonight folks!”

Shane sticks out his arms and tries to block Sean as he advances on Shane with a mean glare in his eye. Clemmens blocks a couple of hits that Starr pops out, and manages to get a few kicks in but Sean Starr whips out a heavy high one to Clemmen's gut, and he falls to the mats in surprise.

Serenity: Shit, someone should jump in there and stop this-- that's a low blow. That fucking guy-- where is Filthy when we need him. We gotta toss this “guest ref” bullshit already.

Clemmens scrambles and gets back on his feet, but suddenly Aidan Morag has returned from the foetal position and grabs Shane in a side arm lock from behind. It's here that Sean Starr steps up and delivers some particularly brutal blows to Shane's rib cage and face. Clemmen's face is swelling up and getting pretty banged up. Blood flows down his brow-- he can be seen shaking his head to try and be able to see enough to duck Starr's blows as he tries to escape from Aidan's bearhug.

Brick: Those guys are being total butt farts...some one should stop them.

Nick: Whoa buddy, sit down-- Aidan promised us ice cream after the show, remember?

Serenity: That dirty bastard.

Brick: Ice cream.... BUT WAIT. WHAT IS THAT?

Nick: IS IT A BIRD?

Serenity: A DUDE?

Brick: AN AIRPLANE?

Scooter: I can't believe this...this match is a complete write off-- who the fuck is this guy? Some vigilante super fan?

A lone figure dressed all in red can be seen hurtling down from back stage at nearly super fighter speeds, his cape billowing out behind him. The crowd goes wild in gesticulations and prognostication as the figure slides into the ring with a sweet smooth motion.

Brick: IT'S MEMENTO: THE BRAVE!!

Nick: Oh goody?

Memento is on his feet in seconds and glowering down at Sean Starr twice as fast. Sean's jaw drops as Memento walks up and pushes him heavily aside like he is a black twiggy wigger. He reaches out and it looks like he's going to punch Shane right in the mouth, but at the last second, his massively red gloved fist connects with the side of Aidan's face!

Brick: My hero! I heart Memento so much!

Serenity: The worm is turning, but what is going to become of this? I don't know if Shane can take anymore battering. Looks like security is also having a hard time holding back his wife over there too. God knows if she gets loose some major shit could hit the fan here...

Memento the Brave walks and stands over Aidan and shakes his head as Aidan stumbles to his feet holding his jaw. Aidan spits some blood and shakes it off, and gets into a stance before he charges Memento with a shoulder to the chest. Memento the Brave doesn't give under the assault and grabs Aidan rudely after the charge and throws him onto the ground in a heap. Before Aidan can react, Memento is standing over Sean Starr. He bends over and picks Sean up by the collar of his now bloodied ref's shirt.

Serenity: Oh my god-- why is this man not world champion yet? Look at him, he's a fucking monster!

Memento pounds his chest once with his gloved hand and punches Sean in the face with it, close range, before dropping him on top of Aidan's groaning body.

Walking over to Shane who is leaning on the ropes heavily, the crowd explodes into cheers. Shane claps a hand onto Memento's shoulder and nods in thanks. The two exit the ring. Bronwen can be seen in the background walking up and putting an arm under Shane, a heap of security guards on the floor in her wake.

Serenity: Talk about some infamy-- if this doesn't add to Memento the Brave's growing momentum, pardon the pun, I don't know what will....

Nick: Oh come on, that was totally pun intended. Momentum...

Brick: Memento the Brave! Memento the Brave! Memento the Brave!

Scooter: Thank god...although I suspect this is far from over. Someone get those two clods out of the ring before those assholes leave some shit stains...

Cut to Commercial...
 

"MACKAID"

Backstage... another television. This one is surrounded by Duumvirate Cup holders Team MACKAID as well as Arsan Ayers and Matthew Abbot. They have been watching the show and chatting the night away.

Ayers: Those Power Trip bastards and their damn bias.

Kincaid: What do you mean?

Ayers: It's obvious that they think they can pull all the strings and make everything go their own damn way. It's terrible.

Kincaid: Oh, gotcha. Yeah, earlier was a load of crap... and now this stuff they have with Clemmens and Memento. It's like they think they have the Duumvirate Cup or something.

Nick looks to Mack, who holds up the cup. He then tips it toward his mouth and drinks...

Abbot: Hey Mack. Is that... chocolate pudding?

Mack takes a big gulp, making a mess on his XXXL Arsan Ayers t-shirt.

Davidson: Yup, sure is. It's delicious.

Abbot: Why not put it in, I don't know, a bowl?

Davidson: Because I got a big cup, babay!

Ayers: Congratulations, by the way. You guys are doing big things in Fight Union and it would be an honor to challenge you for that Cup one day.

Kincaid: The honor would be all ours, bud.

Davidson: Hey Nick, uuuhmm... did you want me to remind you to give Arsan that twenty bucks you owe him?

Ayers: What twenty bucks?

Kincaid: Oh, right. Remember that convention back in New Jersey?

Ayers: Yeah. You and I sat there for a while and didn't get much business. Why?

Kincaid: Well, when you went to the bathroom... I may have... accidentlly taken twenty bucks from you...

Ayers: Accidently?

Davidson: He's a bad, bad man.

Ayers: What the fuck, Nick? I thought we were friends?

Kincaid: We are. I was short on gas money back to Boston and...

Ayers: No, that's messed up, dude.

Nick reaches into his wallet and pulls out a twenty dollar bill.

Kincaid: Here. I've been meaning to pay you back. It just... I don't know... slipped my mind.

Ayers: Oh no. Hell no.

Kincaid: Why not? Here's the money. We can call it even.

Ayers: No, dude. You stole from me. The twenty bucks isn't important. It's the principle of it.

Kincaid: Fine. What do you want me to do to make it up to you?

Davidson: I've got an idea.

Oh, this is going to be good.

Davidson: Why don't you guys rassle for it?

There is an awkward silence.

Abbot: Like, the winner gets twenty bucks?

Davidson: Sure.

Abbot: That's not a half bad idea.

Kincaid: It hardly seems worth having a match just for the twenty bucks. Why don't you just take it now and we'll call it even?

Ayers: Even? Hah! I think you're scared to fight me.

Kincaid: Scared? No, sir.

Ayers: Oh yeah? Prove it. Put your money where you mouth is.

Kincaid: You mean this twenty bucks?

Ayers: Yeah, that!

Kincaid: Alright, fine! Name the time and the place.

Ayers: In two weeks at Violent Behavior.

Davidson: Twenty dollars on a pole match?!

There is another awkward silence. Nick nods his head.

Kincaid: Yeah, twenty dollars on a poll match!

Ayers: I'll see you there!

Arsan stands up, Matthew follows. The two storm out of the room. Nick puts the money back into his wallet and looks at Mack, who drinks more pudding out of the Duumvirate Cup. Moments later, Arsan and Matthew return and sit back down on the couch.

Abbot: We... kind of want... to watch the rest of the show.

Kincaid: By all means. Here, have some chips...

Nick hands the bowl of chips to Arsan.

Ayers: I'm not talking to you.

Kincaid: Fine. I'm not talking to you either.

Nick and Arsan stare at the television set. Mack looks at Matthew.

Davidson: I'm still talking to you, right?

Abbot: Yeah, big guy. You don't owe me any money.

Mack and Matthew share a good laugh while Nick and Arsan ignore each other... and... the scene fades...

Scooter: The following contest is for the Fight Union Outlaw Championship... and it is scheduled for one fall, one submission, one knockout, or one death!

The fans cheer at the idea that somebody could die tonight.

Scooter: Come to think of it... the match would be over if both of them were knocked out or dead...

Now the crowd is going ape shit crazy.

Nick: These people are sick. What happened to traditional Greco Roman wrestling?

Brick: It still exists in your basement, but we don't talk about that.

Scooter: Making his way to the ring first... the challenger... from Osaka, Japan...

The intro to "Yeah, Techno" by Paul Chambers (Soulwax Remix) plays over the arena sound system.

Scooter: ... weighing in at two hundred and thirty-five pounds... NIRVANA TWO POINT OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!

"Nirvana 2.0" Alexander King steps from behind the curtain with his uncle Nathan Gust at his side. Nirv's covered in a red robe with a hood pulled over his head. He bumps fists with The Gust and leans in close for some advice from his uncle.

Brick: I would guess that Gust isn't giving him financial advice right now.

Nick: I miss old crazy Gust at the announcer's booth. He's more lively than Serenity.

Serenity: Oh, sorry. I was fighting illegal streams on the Internet. There were tens of thousands.

Brick: Why would you want to ruin their good, cheap fun?

Serenity: Do you want to get paid?

Brick: Well... yes...

Serenity: The more buys this show has... the more money FU makes...

They make their way to the ring, Alexander shadow boxing as they do. They step into the ring, dead center, and Alexander tosses off his robe to reveal his devil wrestling gear.

Nick: I'm still not used to how creepy that guy looks.

Scooter: And his opponent... he is the current, reigning, and defending Fight Union Outlaw Champion... from Parts Unknown...

"Innocent" by Fuel begins and the arena lights dim considerably. The lyrics start soft and gradually get louder as the Tron shows Memento hitting maneuvers on opponents recklessly to the song's baseline.

Serenity: Did you know Parts Unknown is actually in Wisconsin?

Brick: I did not.

Scooter: ... weighing in at two hundred and twenty two pounds... formally known as Your Saviour?

Scooter shrugs his shoulders, then looks back to the index card.

Scooter: ... MEMENTOOOOOOO THE BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!

Innocent by Fuel drops as Memento the Brave's montage grabs the Tron. The Outlaw Champion comes from under the tron wit his belt dangling from his left hand. His start studded beige mask in Fuel The Flame fashion with the same pyro graphic on the front of it in a navy blue. His tights, boots and wrist wrappings match accordingly.

YOUR SAVIOR – THE BRAVE – THE OUTLAW CHAMPION

As the "your Savior" gig flashes over the Tron, Memento walks out from the back. Smoke is spewed at his feet in the entrance way to the point where you cannot even see from his knee's down. He makes his way down to the ring with a focus we've never seen before. He steps in the ring and demands a microphone. The crowd reduces to a small murmur as he begins to speak.

Memento the Outlaw: You know, I almost decided not to do this, but Nirvana, I have a message for you. And before you roll your eyes, just listen to me. I respect you as a person, as a talent and as a wrestler. Out of all the people I've ran into backstage, you're the only person I feel comfortable saying this to. You're a great fighter and I just wanted to shake your hand and say may the best man win.

Memento drops the microphone in the middle of the ring with a thud. The crowd then makes a bit of noise as he extends his hand to Alexander King, the Nirvana. Nirvana walks around the ring a bit in thought. He finally looks Memento in the eyes and shakes his hand. The crowd cheers as Memento grabs his wrist and raises it for the fans. He points to Nirvana with his other hand. Again the crowd accepts this notion.

Memento suddenly changes the pace by spinning Nirvana in a circle and planting a kick to his midsection. The crowd begins to boo loudly as Memento the Brave plants him with a vicious DDT right in the middle of the ring. Memento stays on his back and rolls over once to the microphone.

Memento the Outlaw: But I'm still the only antagonist worth mentioning. Ring that bell.

Scooter gets out of the cage quickly, not wanting to interrupt the chaos. Referee Filthy Ramirez stands between the two men and allows Nirvana to get back to his feet. Once Nirvana is ready to go Ramirez turns around and takes a step away to signal for the bell. The sound of the bell breaks Memento' concentration on his death stare long enough for him to be caught off guard by a big boot from his adversary, the nearly a foot taller Nirvana. With Memento laying on the mat holding his face, Nirv stomps twice on Memento's head before walking toward the wall of the cage. He yells something inaudible to The Gust on the outside. The Gust nods and lifts the ring apron, searching underneath for something. Seconds later, The Gust pulls out a steel chair. He tosses it over the top of the cage and it lands right next to Memento, who is moving a bit and still holding his face. Memento rolls over onto his stomach and pushes up to his knees... just as Nirvana swings the chair and connects with his back. Memento falls back to the ground and Nirvana sets up the chair. He sits down and stares at Memento, who is slowly getting to his knees again... facing Nirvana. Memento slowly gets to his feet and Nirvana bolts toward him, raising his boot... but Memento ducks. Nirvana stops in his tracks and turns, only for Memento to grab him and deliver a capture suplex right onto the open chair!

Nick: Nirvana 2.0 may be broken in half!

Brick: Forget him. The chair is broken in half! That thing cost $7.88 at Wal-Mart!

Serenity: Help me fight illegal streams, Brick... and then we'll have enough money for more chairs!

Nirvana is rolling around on the mat in pain and Memento is back to his feet. He holds his head again, still feeling the effects of Nirvana's boot from earlier. Memento walks over to Nirvana and sees the smashed chair laying on the ground. He picks up the destroyed chair and smashes it over Nirvana's back a few times. Nirvana rolls around a bit, then tries to sit up and Memento blasts him in the head with the broken chair. Blood starts to trickle out of his devil mask. Memento drops the chair and backs off, holding his head again.

Serenity: There must be something seriously wrong with Memento's head if he is unable to follow up those vicious chair shots.

As Memento approaches Nirvana, Nirv sits up and spits a mist of his own blood into Memento's face! Memento backs up as far as he can, trying to wipe Nirvana's blood from his eyes. Nirv gets to his feet and yells to Gust to give him more weapons. Gust nods his head and looks under the ring, then starts tossing various items. One by one, the items land all around the ring... and some missing completely and landing in the crowd.

Nick: I see cookie sheets, a stop sign, a phone book, a waffle iron...

Brick: ... a saxophone, a cheese grater, a trash can, and another chair! They're really going all out in this one!

Serenity: Outlaw Rules are sickening.

Nick: But entertaining!

Nirvana picks up the trash can and slams it over Memento's head. The can is basically useless now and he tosses it to the side, then tosses Memento into the nearest corner. Nirvana looks around, trying to find something else to punish Memento with. He has a choice between the phone book and the cheese grater... and chooses the phone book? Yeah... the phone book. Nirvana puts Memento's arms over the top rope, leaving his chest exposed. Nirv then rips the front cover off of the phone book and uses the edge to paper cut a symbol on Memento's chest.

Nick: Is that...

Brick: It can't be...

Serenity: That's a Swastika! That sick bastard!

Memento falls to his knees, holding his chest. On the outside of the ring, The Gust is cheering for his devious nephew. Nirvana drops the phone book page and walks toward Memento. As he draws near, Memento lunges forward in desperation and headbutts Nirvana right in the groin! Nirv falls to the mat, yelping in agony. Yes, the man is yelping. How would you feel if you got headbutted in the nuts? Don't judge him. The Gust walks up to the wall of the cage and is talking to his nephew with a worried look on his face. The Gust goes over to the door of the cage and tries to open it, but it is jammed. Memento sees this and walks over to the cage door, kicking it wide open... thus slamming the door in The Gust's face! The Gust goes down and the fans go wild! Memento looks around, basking momentarily in the crowd's approval... before turning his attention back to Nirvana. He walks over to his fallen challenger and mounts him, delivering vicious shots to Nirvana's head. Memento then wipes blood from his own chest and starts yelling incoherently at Nirv, then pushes his head back to the mat. Memento points to the sky and the fans go wild. He starts climbing the turnbuckle, then climbing the cage. As he climbs one end, The Gust is back up and climbing opposite of him. It looks like a game of Super Mario World, especially once they get to the top and start trading blows.

Brick: Is The Gust even cleared to get physical with the Roughnecks?

Nick: Does it matter? This is awesome!

Memento's shots are clearly doing more damage than The Gust's. Memento lays in one more good shot which nearly sends The Gust falling to the floor, but Memento grabs him by the neck and pulls him up. Memento holds The Gust and looks as if he is going to deliver a fallaway slam to him... until he notices Nirvana 2.0 climbing up the turnbuckle. Nirv grabs Memento by the waist and German Suplexes Memento, who fallaway slams The Gust!

Serenity: The only way to describe the ring right now is... carnage.

Nick: Agreed. There might not BE a ring for the rest of the show thanks to these Roughnecks.

Brick: Forget about them! The Gust took the worst of it! He slammed hard into the corner on the opposite side!

Through all of the carnage, Nirvana is the first to stir and he crawls over to his uncle, checking on his well-being. Barely conscious, The Gust swings and connects with Nirv's face.

Nick: He must think that's Memento...

The Gust then grabs Nirv by the mask and shouts at him, then slaps him side the head.

Nick: On second thought... he's just showing his nephew tough love.

Nirv nods his head and gets to his knees, slowly getting to his feet. As he does, so does Memento. The two turn simultaneously and lock eyes once again. Geez. That seems to be a pretty common thing with these two. Anyway, as if working off of the same brain... they charge at one another... meeting in the center of the ring and trading blow after blow. Nirv ducks a punch from Memento, then follows it up with an eye rake. Nirv motions that this is the end and he goes near Memento, who grabs Nirv and delivers an atomic drop followed by a superkick! Nirv staggers back and then forward a bit, dazed and confused. Memento applies an inverted face lock on the challenger and quickly spins to a side, wrenching Nirvana's neck and dropping him straight to the mat!

Nick: OH MY GOD!

Brick: NIRVANA'S HEAD JUST LANDED ON THE CHEESE GRATER! THERE'S A HUGE FUCKING GASH!

With blood pouring from the back of Nirvana's head, Memento covers the challenger. Referee Filthy Ramirez -- who was smart enough to stay away from the devastation throughout the match -- dives to the mat as the fans count along!

Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE!

The Gust dives in to make the save, but doesn't get there in time and Ramirez calls for the bell! "Innocent" by Fuel starts to play and Memento the Brave is handed the Fight Union Outlaw Championship!

Serenity: What an unruly battle between two of Fight Union's most violent competitors. If this is any indication of how far Memento the Brave is willing to go to remain champion, this will be one scary ride for his challengers.

Memento raises the title high, then looks down at The Gust... who has his shirt off and is holding it to the back of his nephew's head. Memento just shrugs his shoulders and leaves the ring, victorious in his first defense of the Outlaw Championship.

"A Gift For Miranda."

Backstage the cameras catch up with Harvey Lohman. In the background you can hear the mixed reaction of the crowd. He winks as the camera from behind his black horn rim glasses—he’s got a package. He stops at the door marked “Blue Vixen.” And leans against the wall beside the door as if he’s blown over by her presence, he holds the package under one arm and holds the back of his free hand against his forehead.

Harvey: She really does send me into palpitations.

Harvey reaches over and knocks on the door. As he waits he quickly adjusts his tie and glasses and fixes his hair.

The dressing room is a concrete box, bare except for a duffel bag, the folded chair, and the woman sat on it staring at a magazine centrefold intensely. Glancing up from the mostly naked woman sprawled across the pages, Miranda frowns and clears her throat.

Miranda: Come in!

Her frown melts into a crooked smile as she spies Harvey. Turning the magazine around so he can see, eyebrow climbing up towards her forehead, Miranda closes the pages together and drops the glossy rag to the floor.

Miranda: Shyla’s latest work … I’ll give her my personal critique later myself.

Harvey blushes slightly as he smiles incredulously, He sets the box down on a nearby countertop and unties the rope holding it closed. He gazes over his shoulder at Miranda, the light gleams off of his glasses.

Harvey: A delicious illusion if you ask me.

Harvey giggles.

Harvey: I’m not here to talk about the chipper, as interesting a subject as she is… I’m here to deck you out in something special. Now close your eyes.

Miranda raises her eyebrow again.

Harvey: You won’t get your surprise if you don’t close those beautiful eyes.

Miranda smirks and closes her eyes. Harvey pulls a vintage black lambskin RAF flight jacket out of the box. It’s so black it looks wet. Harvey approaches her and holds it out by the shoulders before her.

Harvey: Ok, you may open your eyes.

Leaning forward, Miranda studies the jacket; her eyes following the trim and the flight badges stitched to the shoulder. Hesitantly, she stretches her fingers out and takes it into her hands. Pulling her sleeve up she glances at the three blue-and-black lines tattooed about her wrist, comparing it to the identical epaulettes stitched to the jacket’s shoulders.

Miranda: Where’d you get this?

Miranda rubs the leather between her fingers, eyes unfocused and voice distracted.

Harvey: I know a great Vintage dealer. From the first time I laid eyes on it, I saw you wearing it.

Harvey spins it around showing the custom artwork on the back, “Blue Vixen” spelled out in blue and black bolt lettering.

Harvey: Shall we see how lovely it will look on you?

Nodding and shifting her seat around to face away, Miranda brushes a lock of her hair behind her head. She leans forwards, spreading her arms wide.

Miranda: Be gentle, Muffin.

Harvey gently slides one of her arms through the sleeve and wraps the jacket lightly around her back, he has to guide her other arm with his hand, gently sliding his fingers across her soft skin. Harvey then kneels in front of her to adjust the collar and finds himself face to face with Miranda.

Harvey: It really does suit you, doesn’t it.

Miranda cocks her head to the side, edging her features slightly closer so that only the barest hint of daylight stands between them. Her eyes stare into their opposite number, and the slightest smile creases her lips.

Miranda: I was born to fly, baby.

Harvey smiles, murmuring lyrics

Harvey: Blaze into the stars, a trail of glory, we’ll live on land and see… ‘Til victory is won…

He breathes out quietly.

Harvey: Right… Don’t let me lull you to sleep now.

He winks and stands up straight, offering his hand to her.

Harvey: May I have the pleasure of escorting you to the ring?

Accepting the proffered hand Miranda pulls herself up and on the way past, ghosts inside and plants her lips against Harvey’s, pressing for only a single moment before she’s spinning away and heading towards the door; tugging him along by the hand.

Miranda: Sure - you can come along for the ride.

Harvey only has time to let out a delighted sigh before they go out the door, disappearing down the hallway.

Cut to Commercial...
 

 The crowd screams even louder than before. Suddenly, the lights dim a little.

SHOUT
When you wanna get off the RIDE
SHOUT
When you wanna get off the RIDE
SHOUT
When you wanna get off the RIDE

"Sour Cherry" by The Kills amps up as the lights in the arena go out.

Scooter: Coming out first, from Missoula, Montana, weighing in at One Hundred Thirty pounds, She is the Resistance Champion... Shyla CLEMMENS!

Cuz you crossed my Mind
Crossed my Mind

The lights in the arena come back up in hot crimson red as images of Shyla Clemmens appear on the big screen-strobes fire up. Spotlights hit the entrance as "Caustic Siren" Shyla Clemmens appears. She's looking serious. She stops dead in her tracks and gazes from one side of the arena to the other and when her eyes lock back on the ring pyros fire. As they die down Shyla walks the entrance ramp.

Make my Blood pump Seven-Eight-Nine
Make my Heart beat Double-Time

She climbs the ring steps and walks to the center of the apron, turns a smirk to the fans, and slides on leg into the ring. She leans forward slowly and slides through the ropes and walks to the center of the ring.

Go-go-go-go-go-home.
It's OVER
Go-go-go-go-go-home.
It's OVER
Go-go-go-go-go-home.
It's OVER

The lights come up as Pyros fire straight up behind her as the music dies down.

"Remember the Name" by Fort Minor begins to play over the PA. After a few moments Miranda Reizeger emerges from behind the curtains with her trademark blue and black outfit and a black leather jacket. She’s accompanied by Harvey Lohman.

Serenity: Oh boy, she’s not alone.

She walks slowly down the entrance ramp ignoring fans who are booing her along the way, she climbs the steps and enters the ring through the second and third ropes. She walks over to her corner and begins pulling on the ropes getting ready for the match.

Scooter: And her opponent standing five feet eleven inches tall and weighing in at one hundred and forty pounds, She comes by way of Oxford, England, United Kingdom. This is "The Blue Vixen" Miranda REIZEGER!

Harvey leaves Miranda’s side and approaches the announce desk. He orders Brick to give up his head set. Harvey carefully puts on the headset and fixes his hair. He smiles.

Scooter makes his way out of the ring as Filthy Ramirez comes to the center of the ring he signals for the bell and it rings as the two women begin to pace around the ring both looking for an opening.

Harvey: Alright I need you two to go…have an ice cream. I’ll be taking over for the both of you with Serenity here.

Brick and Nick reluctantly agree to give up their spots. Filthy explains the match rules to Miranda and Shyla in the center of the ring and both women look on at each other with a kind of hate that could take the paint off walls. Brick and Nick wave to a cheering crowd as they head up the entrance ramp for their ice creams.

Serenity: Welcome to the show.

Harvey: Seriously, the pleasure is all mine. You are afterall, THE Serenity Becker.

Serenity: Guilty as charged.

Filthy steps out and calls for the bell. Miranda stands her ground as Shyla paces back and forth, studying her opponent. Shyla turns her back on Miranda and steps over to one of the corners and gazes out at the fans. As she looks on, Miranda rushes up from behind her looking for a behind the back! Shyla spins out of the way and Miranda stops herself against the ropes. Shyla goes for a big body kick but Miranda takes her leg and drops her to the mat with a single leg take down.

Harvey: Oh boy, this match is already on the ground.

Serenity: Miranda scores a nice single leg!

Harvey: And you notice how Miranda knowingly plants her other knee to keep Shyla from transitioning to side control.

Serenity: Whaaa?

Miranda postures up and tries to drive lefts and rights down but Shyla gets her hands up into Miranda’s face and dodges her punches. Shyla rolls over and postures up on Miranda in turn and rocks her with a stiff right handed hammer fist. Miranda knows she’s in a bad spot so she uses her legs to kick out and slips out of the hold. Both women rise in the middle of the ring and share a stare down before colliding in the ring. Both women trade punches and stay standing. From there it turns into a fury of lefts and rights until Miranda strikes Shyla in the midsection and scores a big knee lift which tosses Shyla right onto her back!

Harvey: Muay Thai knees are painful to watch.

Serenity: No doubt about it, now Shyla’s down!

Miranda steps up and goes for a knee drop which Shyla’s able to see coming. Shyla rolls out of the way as Miranda crashes into the mat. Shyla comes up quick and goes behind Miranda and looks for her double knee back breaker! Shyla comes up but Miranda holds onto the ropes so Shyla slams back down to the mat on her back. Miranda leaps up onto the second turnbuckle and whips herself backwards for a moonsault on Shyla.

Serenity: Back and forth here! Miranda’s in control at the moment.

Harvey: And what control she has… Literally… I know she was a Captain but she’s a General to me.

Serenity: Uhmmm, ok.

Miranda pulls Shyla up by her long blonde mane and wrestles her around into a reverse chin lock and drives her backwards with a wicked inverted DDT. Miranda rolls over and goes for a pin. Filthy reminds Miranda that the match is submission only. Miranda comes up shaking her head and drives a boot into Shyla’s back. Shyla rolls over onto her stomach and Miranda falls upon her and wrenches her up into a camel clutch. Miranda rears back on the hold folding Shyla back into a disgusting position. Shyla attacks Miranda’s grip and pushes her self up onto her knees.

Harvey: Shyla’s leg strength is…Fascinating…

Serenity: Miranda sits down and flattens Shyla back out!

Now Shyla’s deep into the hold and finds herself struggling to keep from getting choked out. Shyla finally gives it everything she’s got and picks up Miranda onto her back. Shyla gets her feet underneath her and whips backwards putting Miranda right onto her back. Shyla transitions over into mount and swivels around into sidemount and then right into full mount. Shyla has Miranda’s arm pinned with her legs and Shyla’s got an opening. The fans go nuts.

Harvey: And why Shyla isn’t acting on this dominant position I’ll never know.

Serenity: She’s telling her something!

Shyla’s words aren’t audible over the roar but they’re short. Shyla drives a fist down into Miranda’s face and follows it up with a left. Miranda kicks her body wildly and flips Shyla right onto her back. Miranda tries to ride the hold but Shyla flips and catches Miranda’s legs and goes for a Sharpshooter!

Harvey: A reverse figure four, pioneered by the great Riki Chōshū. Riki never made it look this delicious though.

Serenity: Ok… Well Riki Diki didn’t ever sleep in an alley! Oh my god I’m beginning to sound like Nick. I miss Nick. And Brick.

Harvey: No you don’t.

Miranda pushes up and is able to get some breathing room. Shyla releases the hold and floats over to catch Miranda in a crossface! Miranda’s face grows red quickly. Shyla rears against the hold violently. Miranda gets her knees under her but Shyla wrestles her back down to the mat. Miranda drums her fingers on the mat momentarily before slipping her shoulder and rolling over and transitions right into an arm lock. Shyla’s now face first on the mat in her own predicament.

Harvey: These ladies really know how to wrestle. This back and forth is getting me a little steamy.

Harvey chuckles and pulls his color open with a hooked finger and lets out a steam hiss.

Serenity: Keep your hands on the table then.

Miranda’s fully arched up on her tip toes, bridging straight back into Shyla. Her arm is at a sick angle and you can just imagine tendons snapping.

Harvey: Oh yea, look at that control. There’s a true Champion hiding in Miranda. Wait till she meets her true potential.

Serenity: Remember what I said about the hands? I meant it.

Shyla whips her hips around and creates enough separation to send Miranda back down to the mat. Shyla slinks across the mat favoring her shoulder as Miranda rolls to all fours and stalks Shyla from behind.

Serenity: Like a panther now.

Harvey: Outstanding.

Harvey stands up and applauds. Miranda creeps up on Shyla as she rises and surprises her with her patented GR4 Tornado DDT! Shyla’s head cracks the mat hard and she rolls to a stop motionless in the middle of the ring. Miranda sits up and wipes imaginary dirt off her hands before crawling up to Shyla and locking in a bulldog headlock. Miranda sinks it in tight and shouts something your kids should never hear.

Harvey: So colorful. Shyla might just have to submit at this point.

Serenity: I don’t think Shyla’s done.

Shyla fights against Miranda’s grip and slowly works back up until she’s standing with Miranda still reefing at her neck. Shyla whips Miranda over with a slingshot suplex! Miranda hits hard and Shyla rolls away favoring her shoulder. Her feet beat the mat as she takes the pain. Miranda quickly comes back up, shaking the cobwebs loose.

Harvey: If you talk about Shyla’s skills in the ring you have to talk about her legs. She has amazing legs.

Serenity: And you have excellent nerd glasses.

Harvey: Thank you, they’re Gucci.

Harvey peers at Serenity and waves at her.

Harvey: Hi there.

Serenity rolls her eyes.

Miranda and Shyla rise and stand face to face in the middle of the ring. Shyla nods towards Harvey and back towards Miranda. Her voice is just audible over the audience.

Shyla: You need to keep your distance from Harvey! He’s no good for you. He’s bad news.

Miranda smirks and reaches out and slaps Shyla right in the face. Shyla holds her cheek and glares at Miranda.

Miranda: Go fuck a stump, Plastic.

Harvey: Oh so colorful. I hope the moms are covering the little kiddies ears.

Shyla: I’m doing you a favor bitch.

Shyla steps up and smacks Miranda right in the face. Miranda staggers back and smiles before rearing back to throw a punch. Shyla dodges the punch and gets ahold of Miranda and gets her by her head and sinks in a D’arce Choke.

Serenity: Oh man this is a bad spot for Miranda.

Harvey: Unfortunately all Shyla has to do now is…

Shyla sinks in the d’arce choke the rest of the way and Miranda’s face goes red. Miranda struggles only enough to jam her middle finger in Shyla’s face. Shyla grimaces and puts more torque on the hold, putting Miranda’s lights out.

Harvey: That…

Filthy breaks up the hold as “Sour Cherry” by The Kills ramps up.

Scooter: The winner, via Referee’s stoppage, and STILL Resistance Champion… “Caustic Siren” Shyla CLEMMENS!

Harvey: Well it was certainly nice joining you Serenity… Enjoy your evening.

Harvey excuses himself as Filthy holds up Shyla’s hand.

Serenity: Finally, dear good. I’m going to be smelling patchouli for a week. Gag.

Cut to Commercial…
 

"A Gift for Shyla."

Backstage… Shyla’s in her locker room. She sets down the Resistance Championship and pulls her hair up in a sloppy pony tail as she strips her shirt off, then her pants… She stands in her bra and panties as she hears someone clear their throat. She spins around ready to fight. Harvey’s in the corner of the room.

Harvey: Quite a match. You’re still so sweaty, it’s very… Industrial.

He smiles.

Shyla: What…What are you doing in here?

She fumbles for a towel and pulls it over herself.

Shyla: Seriously ass-bag, get out of here right now-- I’m warning you.

Harvey: Aww, why so modest? What’s to cover up that millions haven’t already seen?

Shyla: That’s not the point. Why are you here?

Harvey steps forward and looks innocently at her, a smile on his face. From behind his back, he pulls out a bouquet of long stemmed roses, and puts them up to his nose. He inhales deeply and looks at her over the crimson petals with a woebegone expression on his face.

Harvey: What-- nothing but scorn for the one who adores you? I adore you Shyla. That’s why I’m here. I wanted to give you a token of my ---

Shyla reaches out and smacks the roses out of his hands and they scatter on the floor with a hiss of thorns scraping cement and cellophane crackling.

Shyla: Not going to happen. I’m --I’m not letting you happen to me Harvey. Not ever.

Harvey: Well, that’s no way to treat the man who loves you.

Shyla: Are you even listening to me?

Harvey shoots his hand forward and grabs Shyla by the wrist. He pulls her close to him, she struggles to no avail.

Harvey: You smell so gorgeous right now Shyla. You’re gorgeous when you sweat.

Harvey snaps and lets her go.

Harvey: I love you enough to let you go. Besides, I only love the idea of you, isn’t that right? You’re the delicious illusion, aren’t you?

Shyla tries to move but suddenly he has her pinned in the corner.

Harvey: This is your last chance to change my mind. Besides, I’m quite smitten with Miranda.

Harvey smiles widely.

Harvey: If only I had met her first, if only I hadn’t been caught up in your illusion.

Shyla stares at him, speechless and mildly thrown off.

Shyla: I’m not sure what to tell you Harvey, but what the fuck do you want me to say? Thank you for your insults? What are you trying to get at here?

Harvey: All you have to say are three little words…that’s it. That’s all.

Harvey leans in and softly kisses Shyla on the cheek and caresses her chin with his fingers before she slaps his hand away.

Shyla: Three little words huh? I hate you. There. Is that what you were hoping for?

Harvey steps back and scowls, shakes his head.

Harvey: Hate me, you hardly know me, Shyla. I’m here to cut you loose and all you have is contempt. I’m saving your life. Now you have one more opportunity. Will you keep my secret?

The door flies open to Shyla’s locker room and Tyler Lukas comes through the door.

Tyler: Hey babe, great match…

Tyler sees Harvey up against a half naked Shyla.

Tyler: What…?

Harvey, the opportunist pulls away from Shyla.

Harvey: I told you Shyla, I told you no. I told you I was happy with Miranda and you…

Harvey smirks devilishly at Shyla.

Tyler grabs Harvey by the shoulder roughly and spins him around. In one quick movement he snaps Harvey in the face and drops him and looks at Shyla with a grim expression on his face.

Tyler: Oh yeah, that was real hard to do--- he’s a fucking featherweight. You were sure fighting back real hard there. You toss Miranda’s salad completely, and you can’t fend off fucking Harvey Lohmann of the hipster patrol?

Shyla: Tyler, you don’t understand-- he’s stronger than he…

Tyler: Save it. Not interested.

He turns and storms out of the room, rattling the door on its frame. Shyla can only stare after him, a tear sliding down her cheek.

From the floor, she hears a small gurgling snort that steadily builds into a deep disturbing roar of outright chilling laughter. Harvey is on his hands and knees holding his nose carefully, blood streaming between his fingers. Laughing mirthlessly.

Harvey: Now what are you going to do, huh? Poor poor Shyla…

He gets to his feet and blows her a bloody air kiss with his hand.

Harvey: Ciao my dear…

Once Harvey is around the corner he looks directly into the camera. He wipes the blood away from his nose and smiles; blood has already coated his teeth.

Harvey: My gift to you Miranda. Don’t frown my dear. Shyla Clemmens is in shambles.

Harvey holds his hand up to his mouth as if it were a phone.

Harvey: Call me.

Cut to commercial...
 

'Thela Hun Ginjeet' by King Crimson begins to play throughout the arena as Kaleb Connors emerges from behind the curtains, he begins making his way to the ring with his sight focused on the ring with an occasional twitch.

Scooter: Now making his way to the ring… Weighing in at 225 lbs… From Fort Lauderdale, Florida… Kaleb Connors!

Brick: Hey that looks like what Nick does all the time!

Kaleb gets into the ring and awaits his opponent.

The lights in the arena dim and fade as a single white light shines on stage. The opening to "Monster" by Kanye West plays slowly over the speakers.

A blue strobe flashes about the entrance area/stage, causing the crowd in attendance to stir in anticipation. The strobe settles in over the entrance. "Gossip, gossip," "Nigga just stop it." "Everybody knows," "I'M A MOTHERFUCKIN' MONSTER." The sound of a glass shattering echoes throughout the arena as we are thrust into darkness. Different shades of blue flash very dimly on stage as the slow opening to "Beautiful Lasers (2 Ways)" by Lupe Fiasco ft. MDMA starts. The blue lights on stage switch to above the ring and a white spotlight moves to center stage as the song gets into full force.

Johnny Lukas emerges from the back to a chorus of boos from the hostile crowd. He responds by completely ignoring their jeers. He stares straight at the ring for a moment seeming to psyche himself up.

Scooter: Now making his way to the ring... Weighing in at 220 lbs... From Miami, Florida... JOHNNY LUKAS!!!

Johnny nods and heads down the ramp. He leaps up onto the apron and paces back and forth for a moment, receiving more boos for taking so much time. He scoffs at the morons in attendance, who are unable to appreciate his greatness, then enters through the ropes. The ref inches towards him but a fake punch from the superior Lukas sends the ref scurrying away in a hurry. Johnny chuckles and awaits the match at hand.

Serenity: That’s not nice, don’t be mean to Filthy!

Nick: That’s my boy!

The arena goes black once again.

Scooter: Now making his way to the ring from Miami, Florida... "Infamous" BRETT LUKAS!

Brick: Probably you, but I do feel a slight Florida connection going on in this match.

All three men stand in the ring and begin staring each other down. Filthy Ramirez walks to the center of the ring and looks at each man asking if they are ready, they all answer yes in their own little way as Filthy calls for the bell.

Serenity; This match is officially underway and it is for the Fight Union Championship!

Nick: Lukas! Lukas! Lukas!

Brett looks over to Johnny and walks over to him trying to negotiate with him a little, Johnny smiles and gives Brett a overhand right to the chin knocking him on his ass. Brett holds his chin and looks up at Johnny stunned…

Brick: Doesn’t look like Brett was ready for that.

Nick: He wasn’t. He wasn’t.

Brett sits up and begins to get to his feet when Kaleb Connors comes running and delivers a kick to the face of Brett sending him back down once again. Kaleb gets to his feet and then looks at Johnny, he twitches a few times and begins to make his move for Johnny.

Johnny puts his hands off and Kaleb stops in his tracks, Johnny points to Brett and motions for Kaleb to pick him up. Kaleb walks over to Brett and picks stands him up and then restrains his arms behind his back as Johnny uses him as a punching bag. Johnny lands a few combos to the body of Brett before Kaleb releases him, Brett falls to the mat as Johnny raises his hands into the air and bounces around a little.

Serenity: Johnny being his usual cocky self tonight.

Nick: Cock…E.

Serenity: Grow up.

Nick: I am!

Brick: Let me see your chest hair then!

Kaleb goes and kicks Brett a few more times while he is down. Johnny meanwhile is relaxing in the corner pointing at Kaleb nodding his head in approval. Kaleb then turns and looks at Johnny, Johnny tells Kaleb to pick Brett up one more time and sling him to the turnbuckle he is standing in. Kaleb picks Brett up and whips him to the turnbuckle, Johnny goes for a clothesline but Brett ducks it causing Johnny to take Kaleb out in the process. Johnny tries to get up and tell Kaleb he didn’t mean to but he is quickly put down with a clothesline from Brett.

Nick: Come on bro!

Kaleb makes it to his feet but he fares no better as he is sent to the ground with a dropkick as the fans begin to get behind Brett Lukas. Brett slides out of the ring and tries to catch his breath after the early beating he has received.

Serenity: Smart move here by Brett.

Nick: Runs in the family.

Serenity: It obviously is selective.

Nick: Is that some kind of insult?

Filthy begins his count 1…2…Johnny begins to stir. 3…4…Johnny makes it to his feet. 5…6…Brett slides in as Kaleb makes it to his feet. Johnny looks at Kaleb and nods at him, Kaleb just stares so Johnny has no choice but to turn and run at Brett. Kaleb comes from the side like a freight train and tackles Johnny to the mat, Kaleb gets a dominate top position and lands a few punches before Johnny gets a guard up. Kaleb gets to his feet after he inflicts as much damage as possible, he then begins to circle the ring looking for an opening on Brett.

Kaleb sees an opening but it is closed by Brett’s knee connecting with his face. Blood begins to run out of the nose of Kaleb Connors, he looks at his hand and sees the blood and begins to laugh. Brett just shakes his head and begins to go after him. Brett is in a standing position while Connors is on his back, Brett lands a few rights to Connors’ body and head past the attempted up kicks. Kaleb continues to laugh a sick twisted laugh while he is on his back.

Brick: This motherfucker is crazy.

Nick: Yeah that’s what I heard…

Brett goes in for another punch but an up kick from the downed Connors lands under the jaw. By this time Johnny has fully recovered and he is back to his feet. He sees his opening and runs from behind a staggering Brett and delivers a huge running bulldog. Johnny spins to his feet and holds his arms out to the crowd taking in their boos as Kaleb is now making his way to his feet. Kaleb looks at Johnny and walks in his and Brett’s direction, Johnny gets in his stance ready to punch but Kaleb just begins delivers boots to the back of Brett.

Nick: COME ON BRETT1

Serenity: Things are not looking good for Brett Lukas, besides to one incident it has been Kaleb and Johnny teaming up on the Fight Union Champion. He is really going to have to prove himself tonight if he wants to remain the Fight Union Champion.

Johnny takes this time to climb to the top of the turnbuckle and pick his opening. Kaleb delivers a few kicks to the ribs before finally picking Brett up. Johnny sees the opening and jumps off hitting both Kaleb and Brett with a cross body block.

Serenity: He just took out two birds with one stone with that move but how smart can it be to mess up the alliance with Kaleb?

Johnny gets to his feet and begins stomping on the downed Brett Lukas. Kaleb gets to his feet and Johnny holds his hands up trying to keep him from attacking. Johnny tells him he didn’t mean to hit him with the cross body block. Kaleb looks at Brett and then back at Johnny, Kaleb then lunges at Johnny but misses as Johnny slides out of the ring and begins walking around it.

Serenity: Probably a smart move getting out of the ring there, Kaleb is one unstable individual and he is very dangerous.

Kaleb turns his attention back to Brett as he picks him up from the mat he slings him into the turnbuckle and then follows with a jumping body splash crushing Brett. Brett kind of slumps down a little as Kaleb begins landing whip kicks to the thighs of Brett Lukas.

Serenity: Kaleb is softening them legs up, maybe he is going for a submission.

Nick: Come on get out of the corner Brett!

Brick: Not happening little man, you’re brothers going down. Brett Lukas going down down down, Brett Lukas goin’ down!

Kaleb lifts Brett up on the turnbuckles and delivers a few forearm smashes to the face of Brett before climbing up to the top also. He positions Brett and then delivers a huge suplex from the top ropes, Kaleb goes for the pin as Filthy slides in for the count.

1…2.

Johnny reaches in from the outside and pulls Kaleb off, Johnny then slides in and has a standoff with Kaleb.

Johnny tries to work something out with Kaleb once again but Kaleb shakes his head no and then runs and attempts a superman punch but misses as Johnny ducks to the left. As Kaleb turns around he is met with combo punches to the body and head. Kaleb staggers back a bit until he is up against the ropes.

Right to the body connects, left to the body connects, left to the body misses, and then a right hand hook to the jaw connects sending Kaleb to the mat. Johnny runs to mount Kaleb but Kaleb delivers desperation up kick that sends Johnny back and to one knee. Johnny is holding his mouth as the blood begins to trickle down the side…

Brick: Lukas’ are not looking to dominating right now.

Nick: That’s because we’re always fashionably late for everything, you just wait…Brett is going to win this match.

Serenity: Whoever wins is going to be barely walking out of here the way these men are beating each other.

Nick: That’s fine Brett walks with a pimp limp anyways…

All three men manage to make it to their feet at the same time, Brett is holding his head and looks at Johnny and Kaleb. All three men begin to shift their focus back and forth from each other just trying to anticipate who is going to make the first move. It’s Kaleb Connors as he nods at Johnny he runs at Brett Lukas and jumps with another superman punch. He misses but it’s on purpose this time as he quickly spins and hits Johnny with a roundhouse kick sending him to the mat. Kaleb goes to one knee beside the body of Johnny and begins attempting hammer fist to the head and sides of Johnny trying to make his guard open up.

Brett sees his opportunity as Johnny is possibly down for awhile, Brett delivers a kick to the back of Kaleb that causes him to arch it in pain. Kaleb gets up and turns around bust is met with a bunch of forearm smashes to the face, this opens up Kaleb’s nose even more causing it to bleed profusely. Brett backs Kaleb in to a corner and begins delivering knees to the midsection of Kaleb.

Serenity: This has been a war ladies and gentlemen, whoever wins this truly deserves to be the Fight Union champion.

Nick: *COUGH*Brett*COUGH*.

Kaleb looks like he is out on his feet as his head is down in the corner, Brett turns around and does a little spin for the crowd gaining a loud pop. As soon as he turns his attention back to Kaleb he is hit in the face and eyes with blood that Kaleb spews from his mouth. Brett tries to desperately rake his eyes to clean them, he turns towards the middle of the ring and tries to work on his eyes but he is clipped in the back of the legs with a diving shoulder from Kaleb sending Brett down.

Kaleb climbs to the top ropes and jumps, he delivers a huge elbow drop that lands right in the upper-middle part of Brett’s back. Brett rolls in pain as but Kaleb soon stops him on his back and goes for the pin.

1…2..KICK OUT!

Johnny has now made it to one knee as Kaleb looks over and sees this he focuses his attention on Johnny now. Johnny delivers a few punches to the gut of Kaleb but it is to no avail as Kaleb then kicks Johnny in the mouth causing him to bleed even worse now.

Kaleb then just slides out of the ring and just sits by its side as he lays his head back against it he looks up into the air.

Serenity: What the hell is Kaleb Connors doing?

Kaleb then reaches one hand up under the ring as he brings a bag out, he sets the bag by the ring post and then gets back into the ring.

Serenity: Wait, what’s in that bag?!

Nick: Looks like the bag I keep my porno pictures in!

Serenity: Gross.

Kaleb walks over to Johnny and picks him up, he then slings him towards the ropes but he angles him to collide with Filthy Ramirez. Johnny stumbles and the top of his head connects with Filthy’s head as he was trying to avoid hitting him. Filthy and Johnny are both down for the count as Brett also lies motionless Kaleb slides out of the ring and opens the bag and empties the contents onto the mat.

This includes thumbtacks and pictures…

Nick: Hey that is my bag, how did that bastard get it! NOOO!

The pictures are nude photos of none other than Nick Lukas.

Serenity: And all that bragging you do, we now know the truth about you Little Nicky. I think I’m going to be sick….

Kaleb then picks up Johnny and delivers a scoop slam causing him to land on the tacks, Kaleb then lets Brett Lukas have his turn as he does the same move to him on the tacks. Then Kaleb walks over to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top of it, he jumps but he misses both landing in the middle on his back after a flip.

Brick: I think that sick son of bitch did that on purpose didn’t he?

Serenity: I dunno but it sure looks like it.

Nick: *Waves it off with his hand like no big deal* Ha I can do that!

Kaleb gets to his feet and begins to laugh at the pain he is in as he does a dog chasing its tail impression to try to see the thumbtacks that are embedded into his back now. Kaleb finally satisfied with pulling a few out and throwing them at members of the crowd turns around and begins stomping on Brett and Johnny.

Serenity: It does not look like they are taking the thumbtacks as well as Kaleb did.

Filthy Ramirez finally begins to come conscious once again, he gets up to a knee and looks around and sees the thumbtacks. Filthy doesn’t know where they came from so he can not disqualify anyone for using a weapon, he then sees a picture of Nick nude and turns and throws up hanging his head out of the ring.

Nick: Must be one of those people who don’t like blood.

Serenity: Filthy has seen plenty of blood I think it’s that forest with the little acorn poking out.

Kaleb pulls Johnny to his feet and sets him up for a suplex when Johnny comes out from nowhere with a big time move!

Serenity: Nothing but Neck! Kaleb is out!

Johnny falls onto Kaleb and goes for the pin! Filthy comes up in time to make the count!

…1…2…3!!!

Serenity: Oh my god!

Scooter: Your winner by Pinfall and NEW Fight Union Champion! Johnny LUKAS!!!

Johnny rolls of Kaleb and all three men lay in the ring! Paramedics enter the fray to check on the men as Filthy lays the Championship belt on Johnny’s chest!

Serenity: What a match. What a match…

Cut to Commercial.

"Mystery Man."

The screen begins to flicker as the flashes of cameras and the jeering and cheering of fans begin to die down. The screen becomes a haze, one to seem like it came from a Poltergeist movie. The static continues as strange sounds emit from the speakers surrounding, as well as the PA system. A distorted voice comes out through the static, but is intelligible on who it is.

Voice: Death is everlasting, but only if those who have died are truly deceased.

A loud bit of static blazes over the PA system, even some of the fans are forced to cover their ears for a moment.

Voice: He who has fallen shall rise again. He who has been thought to have died in battle will rise once more to take his rightful place among champions. He who had thought to have slain this being should fear for himself. His days are numbered and hell awaits him.

The static rumbles in once more, causing even more fans to wince in irritable pain. It dies down.

Voice: You live to be an Outlaw, you survive what normal man cannot. The true Outlaw shall return and everything, and I do mean everything... will burn.

The screen explodes with a visual of flames while pyro sets off at both the ramps and the ring. The guardrails holding the fans back slowly begin to light on fire as if gasoline had been placed on the top edges. Fans back up as it spreads, lighting the outlining of the ring in complete flames.

The announcers table is the only thing untouched, though Brick is being held back by Nick Lukas from touching the flames. The screen goes blank and just like that, the fire disappears. Static takes over the pa system once more.

Voice: Welcome to hell, Outlaws.

End.